When looking at homes, a pool was always a plus for us, so when we found this house, we were very excited that it had a pool. As we started telling people it had a pool, they were either very excited about it, or shocked that we would get a pool with six kids, because of the inherit danger that could come from it.
This began to put a healthy fear in us, but all in all we were still excited about the pool.
I began to pray almost daily for safety as we began to use the pool. Max read an article about how "drowning is a silent death". We learned that "puddle jumpers" or any safeguard approved life vest is a necessity for a child who doesn't know how to swim. We felt a little more educated and a little more ready for this pool.
However, I had dreams before we moved. Not a ton, but a few that I found James floating in the pool. This caused me to be especially vigilent with him. He wasn't ever allowed in the pool area without his puddle jumper on. (As a side note, James used to be extremely cautious around water, until he got the puddle jumper. Before he had it, when we were at other pools, he would just sit on the steps and have no desire to get in unless I was holding him close- even with the arm swimmies.) Once he started to use the puddle jumper, he began to gain an unhealthy confidence to be alone in the water because it really works well.
This morning, Miriam's friend was over and they started asking if they could get in the pool. My initial response was, "its gonna be freezing! You don't want to swim today" They said "we don't care if its cold!" Since our pool is still open, but hasn't been used for the last couple weeks, I figured we might as well make use of it and see if it was swimmable. James went and got on his bathing suit, but I assumed we would just dip our feet in, and then come back in because it would be too cold, so I didn't even bring his puddle jumper outside. We got out there, and of course the water felt warm since the air was colder so everyone got excited to get in.
James asked me to get his swimmies so he could get in the pool. I had started skimming the pool and told him to wait a minute. He stood there for a few minutes patiently. I watched the girls swim and they were having a great time. I began to wonder where I put his swimmies -maybe they are downstairs since I already started packing pool stuff away. . . or they could be right there when I open the back door where some of the towels are. It was around this point that I looked over to where James had been standing and didn't see him. (I'm crying as I'm writing this part, just as I do every time I get to this part in my story . .) Immediately I looked in the pool, and there he was floating on his back. It felt like a dream. It still feels like a dream. This couldn't really be happening. Immediately, I jump in and pick him up, eyes wide, but not moving. He wasn't blue, and still seemed to be alive, but I don't know CPR and thought he would surely die. At the same time, I thought he just had to live, because there was no way I could lose this precious boy! As soon as I scooped him up, I started running over to where Max was mowing the lawn and screaming my head off for someone to help us. I guess I was hoping a neighbor or someone would know what to do because I surely didn't. Of course Max couldn't hear me until I was right behind him. No one else heard me either. As I was running, I was holding him kind of face downward with one arm firmly pressing on his stomach and the other pounding his back as if he were choking. I just wanted to get the water out of him and was hoping this would work. Praise God it did work, and he came back to us coughing a little and spitting up some water. The whole rescue was probably 10-15 seconds from the time I jumped in to the time he began breathing, but it felt like forever.
He didn't seem himself and was extremely sleepy, but he was answering questions and we could even make him smile. We felt like he would be ok, but called the pediatrician. The nurse said we could just come into the office (instead of the ER) since he wasn't still in distress and was talking, etc. My pediatrician was great and thought he would be fine, but wanted an xray of his lungs and thought he should be monitored for about 12 hours. Off to ER triage for the rest of the day. He was sent home at about 8pm. His lungs, vitals, etc looked great.
I take complete blame and can't stop thinking about how many wrong choices I made this morning. There have been a couple times, since we've moved here, that I've gone to the pool area to pick something up or whatever, and James is with me, holding my hand the whole time and I never take my eyes off of him. I really don't know what I was thinking! It was so ridiculous of me to leave him there. I should have known better. I will never ever forget the image of him floating there. I have a continuous knot in my stomach, and have not felt hungry today, but rather eat because I have to. In some ways, it feels strange that James is still with us, because he surely should have died. I don't deserve to still have him here after such negligence.
At the same time, I can't stop thinking about how thankful I am that by God's grace alone he is still alive and with us. There were also other evidences of God's grace. Max's dad just came up to officially begin moving his stuff in. He was in his apartment, was looking out the window where Max was mowing, and saw me in my clothes, soaking wet, holding James, lifeless. He prayed right away-probably just before James regained consciousness. This was certainly an act of God! For some reason, I hadn't even thought to pray! Also, because Charlie was here, and I had just gotten Eva to go to sleep before we went out to the pool (which is pretty difficult these days), we were able to leave her, Miriam and her friend with him while we went to the doctor. There is really so much to be thankful for through all of this.
** update- while Max was reading "There's a Wocket in my Pocket" today with James, one of the pictures had a guy floating on his back in the bathtub. James said, "Daddy, that's what I looked like". I believe he had an out of body experience where he was looking down at his own body. I read a book about near death experiences, and this happens to many people. He also just told us at dinner, "I was holding on to the edge of the pool and then slipped." He often will "walk" along the wall of the pool with his feet in the water, against the wall, and his fingers on the concrete. He just normally does this with his swimmies on, but he was probably thinking he would be fine since he was holding onto the side. Anyway, it was interesting to hear his side of the story.
